The Odd Couple
by Akio the Dragon Master
Summary: Possibly the weidest pairing EVER. What is the pairing? Read to find out! (this story has been edited from the first version.)
1. Default Chapter

Akio- Ok, this is a remake of this story, since I went through it and found SO many mistakes, it wasn't even funny. Alright, this story was aspired by one day during the eighth grade when Sour Schuyler/Callie1075 and I were sitting on the bus trying to think of weird Inu-Yasha couples. They were all insanely messed up, but this one by far was the worst. So I decided to write it! Ok, I don't own Inu-Yasha. SO ON WITH THE FIC!

Jaken sighed heavily. He didn't know what was wrong with him. But he did know that he'd been like this ever since he saw the mysterious Kikyo wandering around near Master Sesshomaru's camp. 'Course, it may have been that Rin had been hitting him with his staff for the past hour or so when Kikyo had come around. Simple coincidence is all.

Jaken sighed again. No, he didn't think it was the whole Rin-factor. He turned his head slowly (and painfully) to look at the state of the little girl. She currently had her back to the little green imp and drawing in the dirt, pouting.

Jaken grinned to himself. He had finally gotten his staff out of her clutches and when she went to go and cry to Sesshomaru, he simply ignored her. 'Master Sesshomaru isn't one to listen to whining little brats.' he thought to himself, loathing Rin happily. He sighed again, taking a drastic mood swing to depressed once again.

"Oh will you shut up, you little green freak!" Rin spat angrily. Stupid Jaken had ruined her fun and she was NOT going to let him live it down _that_ easily.

"Why don't you, you filthy human brat!?" Jaken replied in the same tone.

"Why don't you _both_ shut it for once?" Sesshomaru spoke for the first time that night. "Your bickering broke me of my plotting against Inu-Yasha. So kindly KEEP QUIET!!" And with that, the master of the group returned to plotting.

"Yes my lord." the enemies replied instantly.

Jaken fell back and gazed at the stars. He saw Kikyo's outline in them and sat up instantly and clutched his heart, which was beating madly. "What's wrong with me?" he murmured softly.

"Where should I begin?" Rin asked sweetly.

'Just ignore her Jaken. Maybe she'll go away.' Jaken thought to himself.

Rin darted towards the staff that was currently residing in Jaken's lap and took it. And with that, an evil smile spread across the young girl's face. "You know what comes next, eh Jaken ol' buddy?" And with that last remark, she whacked him upside the head.

Jaken winced on contact. And the bonking on the head had started all over again. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow." Jaken, keeping in rhythm with the stick making contact with his head.

About an hour later, Rin got bored and decided she'd go to bed. Jaken sat there with images floating around his head and a dizzy look. The images just happened to be Kikyo and hearts. 'Pretty Kikyo.' Jaken thought, with a crazed look on his face. He shook his head. 'PRETTY KIKYO!? Why'd I think that?!' Then a thought hit him.. hard. 'Am I....am I in love with the priestess? Naw, I can't be. Besides, I'm waaaaaay to sexy for her.' He sighed. 'But still....No! No! Jaken don't give in! You can only get hurt by falling in love! Don't. Give. In.!!!' And after ten minutes of debating with himself, he fell into an uneasy sleep.

"Jaken....Jaken....." a voice called the imp.

"What...? Is someone there?" Jaken called out to the darkness.

"Yes."

"Who is it, may I ask?" 'The voice sounds....feminine..... And oddly familiar…'

"I am the priestess, Kikyo."

"K- K- Kikyo?" the lil' green imp stuttered.

Kikyo emerged from the darkness. "Yes Jaken, my love."

"Wha....Wha...What did you call me?"

" 'My love'. I didn't offend you...did I?" Kikyo's voice was dripping with honey.

"No! No! Of course not....Kikyo.... But I thought....I thought you were in love with Inu- Yasha?"

"No. Only you hold my heart." she bent down and was about to kiss Jaken when she whispered, "Jaken.....Jaken....Jaken..."

"JAKEN! WAKE UP IN INSIGNIFICANT EXCUSE FOR AN IMP!!" Sesshomaru yelled at the sleeping Jaken.

Jaken bolted straight up. "Yes my lord, so sorry my lord!"

Rin was behind Sesshomaru giggling madly.

"If I may ask, why is the bra-...I mean child giggling?"

A grin set on his master's face. "You were talking in your sleep." he replied simply.

"I-I- I-I did?! What did I say?!"

"O nothing really......Except we did find out about your little crush on the priestess." Rin said, jumping up and down, and she burst out laughing.

Sesshomaru just smirked.

"I do not!" the imp replied hotly.

Sesshomaru smirk faded. "Did just use that tone on Rin?"

"Yes my lord. I mean! No my lord! I mean yes my lord. No wait! No my lord-"

"Well, which is it?" the angry demon asked.

"No my lord, I'm sorry my lord." The imp murmured.

"Good. Now lets go."

Akio- Ok, that's the first chapter. Please Review!


	2. Ch 2

Akio- I don't own Inu-Yasha .

Basically, Jaken's day was full of teasing by the adorable Rin. Heck, even Sesshomaru taunted hin at times! And because of the circumstances, Jaken was miserable.

Yeah, he knew it must be hilarious for him, a shrimpy little green dude, to be in love with Kikyo. Heck, if he wasn't him, he'd be laughing too. But alas! he was him so he felt crummy.

"Jaken and Kikyo, sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First come love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby's carriage!" Rin chanted happily. "Again! Again!" and once again, she started chanting...

Jaken was a deep tomato red. This was getting bad. If Jaken hadn't known Sesshomaru so well, he would have thought Sesshomura was one the brink of joining in on Rin's chanting. Insults were one thing...But chanting the "Sitting in a Tree" song? That's pretty darn bad.

'Why? Why did I have to talk in my sleep?' Jaken thought glumly. 'Why? Why? Why?' he had the incredible urge to bang his head against a tree about a million times, but resisted strongly.

Rin, whom gets bored VERY easily, changed songs in hopes of keeping herself occupied for a while. "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves! I know a-"

Yeah, she hit one of Sesshomaru's nerves. "Rin, be quiet."

"Yes my lord!" she replied instantly, putting on her sweetest smile.

Sesshomaru gave her one of his rare smiles. "Thank you Rin."

Well, Jaken's last straw broke. "I DO ALL THE WORK AROUND HERE AND YOU NEVER TELL ME 'Thank you Jaken.' O NO! IT'S ALWAYS 'What did you say Jaken?' or 'Are you arguing with me, Jaken?' AND YET, I GO THROUGH ALL YOU'RE TEASING AND TAUNTING OBEDIENTLY WITH OUT ONE WORD AND I NEVER GET ANY APPRECIATION!" Jaken started breathing heavily.

"Are you quite done, Jaken?" Sesshomaru asked, seemingly unmoved.

"Yes, yes I am."

"Good. Now leave."

"Wha...What?"

"You heard me. Leave before I decide to destroy you."

Jaken gaped at Sesshomaru. "Leave? Bu-"

"Now. Or suffer the consequences." he said in a deadly calm voice.

"Yes! Yes, my lord!" And with that last remark, Jaken ran until he couldn't run anymore.

Night had fallen and Jaken was completely lost. 'I wonder what the brat and Sesshomaru are doing right now?'

Sesshomaru and Rin

To put it simply, they were partying and Rin had badgred Sesshomaru into getting a pinata that strongly resembled Jaken.

Rin was blind folded and was holding a stick.

"Ready Rin?" Sesshomaru asked.

Rin was wearing a BIG smile. "Ready"

Sesshomaru spun her around a few times and let her go.

Rin stumbled and hit a tree. Then she swung a stick, knocking a bird out of it's nest.

The bird swept down and started poking poor little Rin in the head. Therefore, she swung at the bird and the bird flew away from the crazed child. Then, after half an hour of missing, Rin hit the pinata! It's contents were...CANDY!

Rin ripped off her blindfold and was practically foaming at the mouth when she went to collect her sugary treat. Sesshomaru just watched in a silent amusement.

Back with the not-so-exciting Jaken

Jaken grinned slowly. 'Probably regretting making me go.' he thought, trying real hard to comfort himself. 'Yes, that's it. By tomorrow, they'll have found me and will be begging me to come back!' the irritating green dude smirked. 'Yeah, that's it.' He heard something and turned around. His mouth fell open. "K-K-Kikyo?"

Kikyo slowly turned her head to the little green imp and simply stared at him. Her soul collectors were flying lazily beside her.

Akio- Alright, that's chapter two! Please review! PLEASE!


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